Bizzwords

I got an e-mail from my dad that contained a little snippet from a review of a book by "Mr. Bergman." In it, he mentions a few words that I definitely think should become a part of everyone's daily life when they become part of the workplace.

chainsaw consultant, "an outside consultant brought in to fire employees"
brightsizing, "downsizing by laying off the brightest workers"
layoff lust, "the desire to be fired from one's job"
to Nasdaq, meaning "to sharply decline in value or quantity."
bozo explosion, "a rapid increase of incompetent employees at a particular company" mucus trooper, "an employee with a cold or the flu who insists on showing up for work"
prairie-dogging, "the sudden appearance of people's heads over the top of the cubicle walls when something interesting or noisy happens."
jetiquette, the flyers' code of polite behavior.
clickstream, "the virtual path a person takes while surfing the Web"
Zen mail, "an e-mail message without text or attachments"
Dorito syndrome, dissatisfaction felt after wasting time surfing the Net and accomplishing nothing

"There are also a number of entries whose business connections are tenuous. For example, negative patient outcome (the patient died) is medical jargon. Voluntary simplicity (avoiding luxury and pretense) smacks of New Age patois. And ohnosecond -- "the little bit of time it takes you to realize that you've just made a huge mistake" -- has far too much potential to be confined to the workplace."

My favorites are bozo explosion and mucus trooper. C'mon, you know we've all tried to think of what to call those people that make you gag day after day with their constant sniffing and hocking. Ta-da! Now if we could only introduce these people to another highly used bit of necessary jargon. Antibiotics.